Best Episode of Season 1: "The Last Review"

I've been wanting to take each magnificent and wildly-different ALICE season and come up with the BEST episode for the season, along with two runner ups.   The time has come, and I will begin with SEASON ONE.

Season One was released in 2012!

I've asked for suggestions from one of the ALICE groups that I manage:  Mel's Diner -- Cast and Characters Then & Now.    Join us here if you're not already a member:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/576329819106908/.

For each season, we'll look at all the episodes in the season, with season notes, two runner ups, my least favorite episode and why, and the BEST EPISODE OF THE SEASON.   

I am sure that many of you have your own favorites and may not line up exactly as I have -- that's the wonderful thing about being a fan is having your own unique tastes.   So feel free to add your full comments either on the Facebook group, or on Mel's Diner -- Cast and Characters Then & Now.

GENERAL SEASON NOTES:  ALICE's pilot aired on August 31, 1976, with the Season One Premiere airing Sept. 29, 1976, almost a month later.   The first episodes were clunky at times, racked with behind-the-scenes crew changes, and a lot of uncertainty.   In the midst of it all, the cast produced some excellent episodes which have stood the test of time.   But first, my least favorite (and I actually DO like this one also!)

SEASON ONE LEAST FAVORITE:  The Pain of No Return
EPISODE # 01-17
EPISODE AIR DATE:  February 5, 1977
WRITER:  Rick Mittleman
DIRECTOR:  Alan Rafkin
GUEST STARS:   Warren Berlinger as Marion Bartlett; Arlene Garlonka as Shirley Bartlett
RECURRING CAST:  Tom Mahoney as Travis

Alice gets bad news:  She owes the IRS money she doesn't have.

IRS Agent Marion Bartlett threatens Alice if she can't pay a tax bill
she doesn't even know she owes.

Naturally, the wife (Arlene Garlonka) appears, pleading with Alice
not to take her husband (which, of course, was laughable.)

You guessed it -- the IRS agent will trade favors for no money.

WHY IT'S MY LEAST FAVORITE:  Writer Rick Mittleman penned this episode, the only episode he wrote.  It wasn't a horrible episode, but it never conveyed any warm fuzzies, and the barely consensual relations he wanted was a bit freaky, especially for 1977.   It had the typical introduction of a cheating man, in this case Alice's  IRS agent (Warren Berlinger), of course the wife (Arlene Garlonka), who knows he's being unfaithful and suspects Alice, and an unimpressed Alice.   At exactly 8 PM, Marion shows up with promises of making Alice's tax bill disappear in exchange for favors.   He doesn't get what he wants, fortunately!   

SEASON ONE FAVORITE - SECOND RUNNER UP:  Goodnight, Sweet Vera
EPISODE # 01-09
EPISODE AIR DATE:  November 20, 1976
WRITER: Simon Muntner
DIRECTOR:  Norman Abbott
GUEST STAR:   Darrell Zwerling as Calvin, Vera's bizarre boyfriend
RECURRING CAST:  Patrick Cranshaw as Andy

Girl power:  When Vera is hanging onto her life in the middle of a
rainstorm-borderline-flood, Alice and Flo keep her awake and
rally for her survival until the paramedics can arrive.

Flo offers Vera coffee, but ends up practically forcing her to drink it.

While keeping Vera awake, Alice and Flo share moments of truth
of where they are in their lives, and what they hope for in the future.

MEMORABLE LINE:  Alice (to Flo):  You got more men than Jimmy Carter's got teeth.
WORST PART OF EPISODE:  The suicide attempt Vera made clouded her character development.   Luckily, writers ignored Vera's first season oddness and developed her character in a more positive light in later seasons.
WHY IT'S A FAVORITE:   The bond and dedication between the girls, along with excellent writing, make this a winner.   Excellent acting, some funny lines, and a lot of thunder and lightening in the background.   Interestingly enough, Vic Tayback (Mel) was barely seen in this episode.


SEASON ONE FAVORITE - FIRST RUNNER UP: Mother-In-Law (two part episodes)
EPISODE # 01-12 & 13
EPISODE AIR DATE:  December 11th, 1976 and December 18, 1976
WRITER: Martin Donavan (Part I), Bruce Johnson, Arnold Kane and R.S. Allen (Part II)
DIRECTOR:  William P. D'Angelo
GUEST STAR:   Eileen Heckert as Rose Hyatt; Murray Hamilton as Charlie Hyatt; Clyde Kusatsu as Herb Tanaguchi
RECURRING CAST:  Noble Willingham as Floyd.
BEST MOMENTS:  Rose Hyatt had incredible laugh-your-ass-off lines.
MEMORABLE LINE:  So many!   Here's one: 
     Charlie Hyatt:  I love you, Rose.
     Rose Hyatt:  You should!

If you have watched many ALICE episodes, you know this face!

Rose Hyatt successfully insulted everyone in sight, save her dear
dead son, Don Hyatt.   Her grandson Tommy was spared also.

Alice's lecture date with Herb Tanaguchi was destroyed quickly.

Charlie Hyatt ended up reconciling with his estranged wife Rose,
but not before going out with Flo!

WHY IT'S A FAVORITE:  When I just want to chuckle, I watch this episode.   Rose Hyatt is a one-woman wrecking crew, and her destruction is aimed primarily at Alice, with more than enough shots at Vera, Flo and Mel.   Alice takes it well at first, but eventually stands up to Rose.   Ex-husband Charlie (after a hot night on the town with Flo) goes back to Rose, and they leave Phoenix, never to be seen nor spoke of again.

SEASON ONE ALL-TIME FAVORITE:  The Last Review
EPISODE # 01-06
EPISODE AIR DATE:  October 27, 1976
WRITER: Harvey Bullock and R.S. Allen
DIRECTOR:  James Sheldon
GUEST STAR:  Victor Buono as the Restaurant Critic Mr. James
RECURRING CAST:  Patrick Cranshaw as Andy; Noble Willingham as Morgan
BEST MOMENTS:  The insults of the food by the restaurant critic before he dies rival the bad death jokes after he's dead!
MEMORABLE LINE:
     Mr. James:  It's going to be so difficult to decide.  You have so many of my favorites...wilted lettuce...stale donuts
    Vera (writing these down on an order pad): Wilted lettuce ... stale donuts ...

The comedy just begins when the Food Editor shows up.   He's not
at all impressed with Mel's Diner and would prefer to be eating
Peeking Duck.

Mr. James examines the spoon, indicating distrust for Mel's cleanliness.  
Smart guy!

When the Food Editor sarcastically says it will be hard to decide on
what to order and mentions "wilted lettuce" and "stale donuts", Vera
writes it down, as if he was really ordering that.   Classic!

Trying Mel's chili -- in his second visit (Mel runs him off on his
first trip there) -- Mr. James spends his last moments alive eating
Mel's chili.

Soon after taking a bit of Mel's "jailhouse chili", Mr. James
drops dead in Mel's booth.  The bad food jokes and the dead
jokes hit an all-time high -- or low -- here!

WHY "THE LAST REVIEW" IS MY SEASON ONE FAVORITE:  Pure and simple, this episode makes me crack up all the way through it.   Victor Buono (You probably know him as King Tut from 1960s BATMAN) blew away the role with his pretentious and self-aggrandizing attitude.   It was the perfect sitcom casting to contrast a roadside diner (which was even more greasy-spoonish in the first season).   He is offended by Mel's non-discreet attempts to save spoiling food ("put powdered sugar on the stale donuts".)  When Mel kicks him out, he looks at his stained clothing and says "Sir, are you aware someone has staged a cockfight on your t-shirt?".    Not to be discouraged, Alice invites him back, but probably shouldn't have.   He hates the food, belittles the staff, and dies in the booth.   Best episode of the first season!

ADDITIONAL SEASON FAVORITES COMING SOON!   Want to suggest an episode?   Hit us up at Mel's Diner -- Cast and Characters Then & Now or in the comment section below.